Like a lot of folks concerned with social media, I got my mini-geek on at the Mesh Conference held at Toronto’s MaRS Discovery District. I’m not going to go into a play-by-play account of Mesh — if you wanted that, you’d have followed the meshing on Twitter. Mesh (re) tweaked my interest some important issues that I believe need to be constantly challenged in the PR world. Those are privacy, anonymity and reputaton.

Many folks have an online self which can often have a different personality than their offline self. This is one of the privileges of the Net and social media. We have infinite potential to be who we want, when we want to our chosen audience. I’m sure that many poignant 10-minute unions of the heart and hand have been made this way. I am also confident that there are an equal number of folks who have been cyber-bullied because of this set of circumstances.

As some background … I started blogging in 2001 when I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter. My partner’s family lives in B.C. so we thought that a blog would be an excellent way to communicate the changes of our lives and the pregnancy progress to our family and friends as well as to document the experience of becoming a mother.

Being a “gung-ho” type of chyk, I really dove into the online world. I joined Mamatron.org, a BB for, “mamas of color, bi/lesbian/poly mamas, very young mamas, mamas on public assistance, sex worker mamas, single mamas, artist mamas, socialist mamas, green mamas, anarchist mamas, and pro-choice mamas.” There was a discussion group for women who were due at the same time. I loved that group of women. They supported me through sleep deprivation, money concerns, hormonal flux, and I know that I was able to share with them as well.

That was until a cyber-bully named “Big Fat Breeder” decided that because I had used the dreaded “b” word (hint - rhymes with itch) in a conversation of support with another woman. Essentially, in spite of a mea culpa, I was drummed out of a supportive community because of the actions of a person who lived behind her online identity.

I’m over it, don’t worry. The experience has flavoured my approach to social media, however.

Everyone needs privacy - no doubt. However, if someone wants to participate in a conversation, isn’t it just good manners to say who you are? Otherwise, it is akin to walking into a person’s home, not telling her who you are, provoking an incendiary political discussion and leaving.

Students are being expelled for cyber-bullying: curiously, this practice remains de rigueur, for many adults. It’s too bad. I have to wonder how many conversations are limited due to the power of an anonymous comment.

I was planning to write this on Friday, but I took the day off instead. So, here is my rant. Valentine’s Day. I HATE it. I don’t do it. Now before you go thinking I’m some bitter single gal who got her heart broken on February 14th, let me set the record straight: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years (eek!). We have never celebrated Valentine’s Day. I hated it when I was single and I never saw the point when I was in a relationship. The way I see it, why do you need a day to tell the people you love how you feel? Why can’t you say it on March 18th? Or September 27th? You can, and you do. So why do women (yes, it’s generally my gender who is the guilty party) think if they don’t hear it on Valentine’s Day it’s not for real? If anything, I think it means less on Valentine’s Day. That day, the guy is saying it because he feels like he has to say it or else his wife/girlfriend will go hormonal on him and accuse him of not being able to express his feelings. Chill, ladies!

Now, my boyfriend isn’t big on the flowers. That’s ok. Because when I do get flowers, I know it’s because he really wanted to do something nice for me (or he did something really really wrong) and not because society has told him that on Valentine’s Day, he needs to buy me flowers. I don’t need a dozen overpriced red roses and a box of chocolates to be sure of how he feels. And I’m willing to bet that most of you women feel the same way. So why do you do it? Why demand affection for that one day? Why place so much emphasis and so much of your relationship on how he deals with Valentine’s Day? If he’s only nice to you that day, do you really want him around on the 13th or 15th? Want a reason to have a romantic dinner? A sexy bubblebath? Buy lingerie and chocolate? I can think of dozens that are just about my relationship, not how everyone else thinks my relationship should be.

I feel bad that when my boyfriend tells his female co-workers that I don’t like Valentine’s Day and that we don’t do it, they jump down his throat and tell him I really DO want Valentine’s Day and try to make him feel like the worst boyfriend in the world. Ladies? I really don’t want Valentine’s Day. He knows me well; we agree on this, let him be!

Valentine’s Day is a pure consumer “holiday.” I worked at Hallmark for several years and it’s big around there. And you should have seen the number of poor men coming in the evening of Feb 14th terrified to go home without a stuffed bear and a card. Are you kidding me!? Do me a favour- on your way home tonight, count the number of men carrying a bouquet of flowers. Do it again on Wednesday. It’s a fun little game. But odds are that the one guy you see carrying those flowers tonight put a lot more thought into it than all the lemmings buying flowers for three times as much two days later.

[/rant]

Yes, it’s very cool. Yes, it’s very pretty. Yes, it’s like nothing we’ve ever seen. But I couldn’t want one less. And I’m probably one of the only people in the world saying that today. If you haven’t guessed, I’m talking about Apple’s new iPhone. I don’t do Apple. And before you ask, yes, I’ve tried it. I’ve used a Mac desktop, I’ve tried out the laptop. I’ve played with the old iPod and I’ve listened to a Nano. And yes, they are all very pretty. But you’ll never see me buying them. And here’s why:

First, they are SO overhyped. One of my favorite games to play on my way home is to count the iPods. Yesterday I counted 10 in my section of the subway car. That’s a lot of people who bought the product for the name, if you ask me. Because there are a lot of other great players out there, ones that get better reviews and last longer. But they’re not called iPod’s. So they don’t sell as well. I’m one of those people who hate to have something that everyone has, just to be in on the fad. That’s one of my reason’s for not buying into the craze.

The next is their advertising campaign. I haven’t done any studies or research on this, but I’d venture a guess that word of mouth was the way Apple products got so big. They have the pictures of the people with the white headphones and the flashy commercials, but that’s about it. There wasn’t any major PR pushes involved. People talk, and they talked about Apple. Since we’re on the commercials, let’s discuss what is the reason that sealed the deal on my never buying Apple. The Mac/PC guy commercials. If you can’t sell your product on its own merit, without putting down your competitor, I ain’t buying it. I’ve talked about this before, so I won’t go into a rant, but Pepsi is the worst for doing this and Apple isn’t far behind on my list.

Apple products are expensive. Like ridiculously expensive. Especially since most people I know who have iPods have problems with them- from software, to mechanical etc. They aren’t the most durable things in the world. I have a Creative MuVo (which I can’t find a picture of because I’ve had it for too long) and I love it. It was around $100, it has a SD card slot for extra memory, a stopwatch, FM radio and it’s REALLY easy to use. It lives in the bottom of my gym bag. It gets tossed around, dropped, hit off stuff and stepped on and it just keeps ticking. I would break an iPod in about 2 days, I’m so hard on my players. I need something that I don’t have to handle with kid gloves out of fear I’ll hurt my precious player.

I could go on and on about how you have to buy special products for Apple, you have to use iTunes, etc. But I think you get the picture. So no, I won’t be investing in an iPhone. Who’s with me?? Anyone? Anyone?

Chris tagged me (my first tag! how exciting!) for a meme (my first meme! how exciting!) and I have to come up with 5 odd things (only 5?) about me you wouldn’t otherwise have known about . 

Here goes:

1) I’m really good at getting stains out of clothes. Seriously. I can get almost anything out. I once got bike grease out of white pants - it’s legendary in my parent’s house.
2) I love brocolli - when I was 1 and not yet talking, I picked up a broc from my seat in the shopping cart and put it in my mouth before my mother blinked. Needless to say she bought it, and I’ve loved it ever since.
3) I had 2 imaginary dogs as a child- One’s name was Sniffy. I’ll have to ask my mother about the other one.
4) I was born on the 100th birthday of my great-grandfather. He died exactly 10 years before that, on his 90th birthday.
5) I will only eat cottage cheese immediately after opening the package. If it’s been opened, even by me the day before, I won’t touch it.

 Ok, that’s all you get. In an effort to get more PRGirlz blogging, I tag Camille and Marissa, along with Paul, and Ed.

Casual Friday has been AWOL lately, and for that I apologize. I was informed that there are actually people out there who have not only noticed, but missed it, so I made sure to set aside some time this morning. And here’s what’s on my mind: I don’t care how amazing the graphics are. I don’t care what else the thing can do. I don’t care that it’s new and cool and rare. I can’t imagine needing wanting something bad enough that you sleep on the sidewalk for 2 days waiting for the release of a new game console. But such is the world today. While millions around the world starve, while thousands in Toronto and across Canada are forced to live on the street because they have no other option, these people volunteer to sleep in the rain and cold (it’s November in Toronto, after all) to buy the new Sony PS3 for $700. And that only gets you the console. Want an extra controller (because they only give you one)? How about a game to play on it? Fork out the cash. Insanity. Pure insanity.

First of all, I can’t imagine wanting anything bad enough to sleep outside for it. I’m not a person who understands camping outside Best Buy for Boxing Day. I don’t camp. It’s that simple. Now some people did bring tents, but sleep in a damp tent on the sidewalk? Not a chance. And more than that, take a look at the people in line. Not the homeless being paid to hold a spot (I won’t even get into how that irks me, but I guess money is money is food to them), not the scalper-esk types looking to make a tidy profit on ebay. I’m talking about the rest of them. And the rest of them, the ones that have been holding their breath in anticipation? The majority of them cannot afford this. I can think of a million things these people should be doing with that money. Because the really rich? They have connections- they’ll get one. And they aren’t sleeping outside Wal-Mart. The ones on the sidewalk are the people who can least afford to dish out $1,000 on a game console. I’m willing to bet that most of them barely make rent. They obviously don’t have jobs, since they haven’t been at work for 3 days, so what makes them think that this is a good and wise investment? Because this is what happens when greed and consumerism take over.

I know, not for me to understand. But I appreciate you letting me get it off my chest.

A couple of weeks ago I talked about the start of the new TV season. And this week, we’re celebrating another season start. Can you guess it? If you’re Canadian, you probably got it right. Yes folks, Hockey is back! And for us Torontonians, it was a loooong summer. But the Leafs back, with many many changes, and this season promises to be interesting, if nothing else. When people learn I’m from Ottawa, they usually assume that I’m a Senators fan. No way. I grew up in a Leafs house and a Leafs fan I am. My stepfather alternates between being proud that he raised a Leafs fan and feeling guilty for “commiting me to a life of dissapointment and frustration.”

There are 3 kinds of Leaf fans, in my opinion. The first are the ones that make us look bad. They’re rude, think the Leafs are the only team in Canada and plan the parade following every win. Every year is THE year. Forty years later….you get the point. The second group is the eternal pessimist group. They love the Leafs. They want them to do well. But they don’t think it will ever ever happen. Every time they lose, they saw it coming; every win was luck. They will support and defend the team to the death, but always admit that they won’t live to see the Cup in Toronto (the Hockey Hall of Fame doesn’t count. In fact, it’s almost mean and quite humourous to the rest of the NHL that we get it for the majority of the year. But I digress.) The third group settles into the middle and there are few of us. Yes, I’m a middle girl. I support them, I defend them, I don’t dream of the parade, nor do I discount the possibility that it will take place in my lifetime. My stepfather, Norm, is from group one. Norm is the president of group one. He can’t even watch a game on TV unless they’re winning, say 6-0 (arbritary score;). He gets mad, he yells. There was the fateful night that he tore a Kleenex box to shreds when they lost. I don’t think he could take watching a game live, I think the stress alone would shave a solid 5 years off his life.

No matter which group you fall into, the start of the year is always exciting. This year in particular will be good to watch. New coach, new approach, new players, new expectations. Which group are you? Are you even a Leafs fan? Do you even care about hockey?

GO Leafs GO!!!

This has been an exhausting week, both physically and emotionally. I spent the first half running around like a maniac tying up loose ends and making sure all my ducks were in a row. I spent the time after that mourning a friend and colleague’s mother. As such, I’m not feeling so creative and not sure what to write about today. All the topics I want to cover are PR related, which goes against the rules of the “Casual Friday” post. So, let’s pick up where I left off (two weeks ago, my apologies for the lack of post last week) and talk TV. That day I talked about the shows I was most anticipating, both new and old. Since then, I’ve ditched some and found others; was pleasantly surprised by some and very dissapointed by others. Here is my take on fall TV for 2006:

1) Grey’s Anatomy - Thursdays @ 9 on ABC, 8 on CTV

This show is fabulous. Seriously. I saw the first two episodes on the first day (Thanks to CTV’s gaffe) and they were both great. Especially the end of the second episode. Great TV. But here’s my thing: In what parallel universe does a woman sleep with two men, neither of whom get mad, and then get to pick one? Let’s recap. Meredith was with Finn. Meredith and Derek slept together the night of the prom. Finn knows about Derek and vice versa. And both still want to date her. Ok, I can go with that. But then she says to them, together, that she needs to date them both in order to choose the right one. And they’re both still ok with that?! I’m sorry, I just don’t buy it.

2) ER - Thursdays @ 10 on NBC/CTV

I’m just gonna say it. Not loving this show any more. The premiere was ok, but not great. Last night I barely watched it and was more into Six Degrees (more about that in a minute). Will I never watch ER again? Doubtful. Will I record it or ensure that I’m home, no matter what, by 9:58 on Thursdays? Not likely. Sorry, guys, I wanted to love you, but I just can’t anymore.

3) Six Degrees - Thursdays @ 10 on ABC

I wasn’t planning on watching this show, but I taped it on a whim and found I really enjoy it. I love the premise. Everyone is connected by only 6 people. You never know who you bump into, if everything is fate or if we’re destined to a certain life and no matter what you do, that’s where you’ll end up. I love that stuff. It really makes you think about your life and how a one minute encounter could have changed everything. The acting is solid; the stories are many but easy to follow. I’ll keep an eye on this one for a few more weeks to see what happens. As of right now, it’s starting to slip past ER on my radar.

4) Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - Sundays @ 10 on CTV, Mondays @ 10 on NBC

By far my favorite new show. It’s quick, it’s sharp, it’s smart. It’s funny and feels real. And Matthew Perry? Solid actor! I was very impressed by him and he and Bradley Whitfield have a great chemistry. If you haven’t watched it, I urge you to give it a shot.

That’s all for now. See any of these shows? Agree with my thoughts? Or have another great show I should try out? Let me know!

And don’t worry, this space is NOT going to become TV guide personified. I’m sure there are already plenty of blogs for that. I’m just too tired to think about much except laying on the couch and watching TV. At least if you feel the same way, you have a few good things to watch.

It’s almost here. Can you feel it in the air? You see posters for it everywhere. Everyone is talking about it. Everyone is trying to get caught up. Everyone is trying to figure out what changes will happen, how it will affect their lives over the next several months. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s Premiere Season. Our favourite shows are preparing to come back into our lives. New series are gearing up and hoping we can make room for them in our living rooms and in our schedules. Networks are airing the season finales of last year to remind us how we left off and frantically pushing the new shows on us at every opportunity and commercial break. So in the spirit of the season, I thought I’d throw my two cents with my most anticipated returning shows and the new ones that have caught my eye.

The Old

1) GREY’S ANATOMY - Thursday, September 21, 9pm, ABC/CTV
Can’t wait. It’s that simple. We left Miss. Meredith looking lost between her two gorgeous men (what a life), Derek and Finn and we were made to wait all summer to see who she would choose. Izzy left elegantly, heart broken and likely finished with surgery. Burke, the world renowned heart surgeon, has lost the use of his hand but Cristina finally made use of her heart and stayed by his side. And Callie found her way into our heart and we’re all pulling for her and George. And Alex? Well he found a way to make us forgive him for the whole season. Fabulous show. Watch it.

2) DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES - Sunday, September 24, 9PM, ABC/CTV
Ok, I know it wasn’t as good last year. I know it seemed like it peaked too early. But I feel good about season 3. Lots was going on when he last left the ladies of Wisteria Lane, and I’m looking forward to finding out how it all sorts out. Gabrielle discovered she really did have a maternal instinct and fought hard to be one. Let’s face it, the woman’s had a hard time getting a kid. She lost the first one when she fell down the stairs, couldn’t get pregnant after that, fell in love with her adopted daughter, only to have the birth mother take her back, then her husband has an affair with the maid who is the surrogate. Give this woman her baby! Bree saved her daughter and maybe their relationship but is targeted by a crazy dentist (who I will always see as Trey from SATC); Susan thinks Mike stood her up but he was run down by said dentist. And Lynette is faced with the illegitmate child her husband didn’t know he had and the obnoxious woman he impregnated a decade before. Yes, a little over the top, but that’s why we love the ladies, is it not?

3) ER - Thursday, September 21, 10PM, NBC/CTV
I think I’m one of the few who still watch this show like a religion. In fact, it’s almost become that. I don’t LOVE it anymore, but the people are like family and I care about them. Especially Abby. I love Abby. I want Abby to be my best friend. And Abby is very pregnant and lying on the floor passed out from possible gun shot wounds (GSWs) and a nasty wound on her forehead. And the only person who knows she’s there is Luka and he’s intubated, paralysed and can’t talk. So I’m worried and I want to know what happens. Sam is in a van with her insane ex boyfriend and her son (who is not the original actor and nothing bothers me more than switching actors. Come to think of it, the insane ex is a different guy too. No wonder he’s so pissed). Anyways, the point is, don’t call me Thursday night. I won’t pick up.

The New

1) Ugly Betty - Thursday, September 28, 8PM, ABC/CityTV
This one caught my eye at the start of the summer. It looks like The Devil Wears Prada meets America’s Next Top Model. Not a big reality TV girl (in fact I really don’t like ANTM), but this looks to be both smart and funny. An excellent combination and much needed in TV world these days. Also, it has a kick-ass website. I’m eager to see how this one plays out.

2) Brothers & Sisters - Sunday, September 24, 10PM, ABC
This could either be a sappy drama or a really sweet and compelling story about a close-knit family. It has a fantastic cast, so I’m optimistic that the writers are such as well. With Sally Field, Rachel Griffiths, Calista Flockhart and Ron Rifkin signed on I can’t imagine it will be something to avoid on Sunday nights. Only time will tell.

3) Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - Monday, September 18, 10PM, NBC
I was a little hesistant when I saw Matthew Perry- it’s hard to break away from a successful, long running show. But Aaron Sorkin is the writer. And Bradley Whitford is in it. Sorkin knows what he’s doing. So, if it lives up to the hype, it will be sharp, witty and incredibly well written. So Chandler, let’s see what you can do without your Friends.

Ok kids, those are my picks. Agree? Disagree? Think I missed something? Let me know!
Until then, my friends.

The weekend is here and Toronto is immersed in the world of celebrity. In related news, traffic in Los Angeles is significantly lighter and the limo drivers are bored and bitter at the irony. Yes, the Toronto International Film Festival is upon us once again. I first heard about TIFF when I was in first year of University and I really think it’s grown exponentionally in the past 6 years (my god, I can’t believe I’ve lived here that long). It seems that it wasn’t as big of a deal back then and significantly fewer celebs trekked up for the event. Now, it’s a veritbale who’s who of the film industry and many many films that have debuted here have gone onto to achieve fame and acclaim.

I don’t deny that I love my celeb gossip- I read Lainey regularly and never get on a plane without People or US Weekly. But camping out at the Four Seasons to get a glimpse of Brad Pitt? Spending a fortune to eat at a top restaurant with the hope that Jude Law shows up for dinner? Not my thing. In fact, I can’t imagine calling up a girlfriend and saying “Hey, wanna go stand outside the Four Seasons and Park Hyatt all evening?” Even if you did catch a glimpse, what does that do? I guess it’s not for me to understand. I saw the Olsen twins at Starbucks a couple years ago. My life didn’t change as a result.

It is fun to walk around Yorkville during the festival- there are always little parties and events going on in the parks, in the stores, in the bars. It’s a great atmosphere and great for people-watching. Ninety nine percent of the people there aren’t famous, but 100% of them want you to think they are. Makes for some interesting outfits, expensive shoes, purses that cost more than my rent and attitudes that are a force of their own.

Funny thing is, because of people misundestanding what I do, they assume I have fabulous connections. I don’t. Tickets do trickle our way from clients, but not to gala screenings and I don’t have any better ways getting the most sought after tickets than anyone else. But if I went trolling in Yorkville, I’d probably want you to think I do too…

Did you think I started dressing up on Fridays and abandoned you? Well fear not- I live for wearing jeans on Fridays and was simply on vacation. Today I’m in jeans and back to the grindstone. I did have a great vacation, thought. I went to Los Angeles to visit my father, sister, aunt and cousins (including adorable new addition Evan Alexander) and sunburn aside, a good time was had by all. I shopped, I swam, I slept, and caught up with family who I hadn’t seen since last summer when I was unemployed and worpshipping the Bank of Parents. What a difference 12 months makes! A year later I’m employed and for all intents and purposes, am fully self-sufficient. This did cut down a bit on my shopping. It’s a lot harder to spend money when it’s, well, yours. I did get some great stuff though, which brings me to my topic: women’s work clothes.

I’m fortunate that here at work, the dress is pretty casual. Your typical PR agency duds- dress pants and a sweater or nice shirt, skirts, khakis, some killer heels, lots of flats, and jeans on Fridays. When the occasion demands, we have our suits pressed to go, but my work clothes probably look pretty casual to people who work in the financial district. Nevertheless, finding work clothes, especially suits, that are good quality and reasonably priced is a bit of an oxymoron for women here in Canada. We have a few token shops, like Zara, or for the very patient, H&M. But it’s nothing compared to what the women in America enjoy. In Canada, if you have the moula, you’re fine. But if you’re a woman in your twenties and thirties with limited resources, you have just that. Limited selection.

In the States, they don’t have limited selection. They have The Limited. And Express. And New York & Company. And many many more. Stores that carry clothes that won’t fall apart after a month but won’t break the bank to own. I love stores like this. Why don’t we have these in Canada? If you’re a teenager or in your fifties, you’re set (for the record, I don’t think 50 is old- I just think clothing styles have changed by then). But us “professionals” in the middle are left to fend for ourselves. Ninety percent of my working wardrobe is American. And I don’t even live in a small town in northern Manitoba. I live in Toronto. Just about every store in Canada has a Toronto location, not that it does us any good!

I can’t even imagine how much harder it would be if I needed to wear suits to work all the time. I know they’re an investment and you buy quality whose style won’t expire, but how many times a month can you wear that great black suit? We’re women, we like variety. And we notice when others don’t employ variety, it’s one of our gifts/faults. So not only do I struggle to find work clothes I can afford, I need to find items I can switch up to create several outfits. The stress is neverending!

Now that I have that off my chest, what are your thoughts? Agree? Think I’m insane? Have a secret store you want to share? And to all the men out there, is this just another female problem, or do you suffer in silence?