Networking is Notworking for me
Posted by PRGirlz Alumni on May 28th, 2007
Networking is most definitely a skill. Skills, to a certain point, can be taught, honed, and put to productive use. But I think you also have to have a little something extra to acquire said-skill to put it to proper use. I’m not sure I have that certain something when it comes to networking. Don’t get me wrong- I WANT to have it. I watch some people move effortlessly through a crowd of strangers and start meaningful conversations with people they’ve never laid eyes on. And I want to be that person. I just not sure I ever will be.
When people first meet me, they usually think I’m shy. They also usually take that back after they get to know me. And I’m far, far less shy than I once was. Leaving home and coming to school in Toronto was probably the most shocking thing I ever did and probably also the smartest. If I wanted to make friends and have a semblance of a life, I was going to have to be less shy, walk up to people and start talking. And start talking I did. I’m much better in social situations, with friends, at talking to people and getting to know them.
But business settings, even social ones, aren’t the same thing. For one, you want to come off well. A different kind of “well” than you do with friends. You want to come off professional, intelligent, charming and even witty. That’s a lot of pressure! You’re not just representing yourself, but the company you work for. You don’t want to walk away from a conversation you think went okay only to have the other person wonder how you ever got hired. It’s all very stressful.
I’m bringing this up because, as many of you know, tomorrow is Third Tuesday. And it’s a big one. The Girlz have been planning to attend and at least three of us will be there. On one hand, this means if all else fails; I’ll have them to chat with. But it also makes it easy to NOT network. Not that I want to attend alone! It will just be important for all of us to remember that Third Tuesday is a great opportunity to meet new people in the industry and forge new relationships.
So, I will be making a concerted effort to network tomorrow. And I welcome any tips you can give me.
On second thought, I don’t so much welcome tips as I am begging for them! Help a Girl out!
And if you’re there tomorrow, come say hi:)
Posted to Skill Set
May 29th, 2007 » 1:46 pm
Hi Jos – Being an army brat, talking to people I’ve never met is one thing that I’ve had lots of experience doing, so I will pass on a couple of tips that help me.
1. Approach the person who is standing alone. They are hoping someone will come up to talk.
2. Introduce yourself with your name AND some context. “Hi, I’m Joscelyn Smith. I’m with Thornley Fallis.” The additional information often provides a lead to the conversation.
3. If the person is comfortable networking, they will pick up their side of the conversation easily.
4. If the person is not comfortable networking, it will be harder work – but recognize that they are already impressed with the fact that you are obviously much better at it than they are!
5. Always have the next question planned. A good one for this type of event is “Are you originally from Toronto?” This can easily evolve into where they work, went to school, neighbours, etc.
6. And have a graceful exit strategy. Networking is about meeting lots of people, not standing around with one person. So when it’s time to move on, simply smile, tell the person you have enjoyed meeting them, and that you are going to circulate. Ask if they would like to walk around with you, or introduce them to a co-worker, and move on to the next new person.
And remember you don’t need to be interesting, just interested!
May 29th, 2007 » 8:50 pm
Walk straight up to a stranger, extend your hand and say “I don’t know a bleeding soul in this room. May I introduce myself?” Guaranteed conversation opener.
May 30th, 2007 » 8:39 pm
Joscelyn,
It’s ironic that you wrote this post before attending Third Tuesday, where you befriended me out of the blue as you saw that I was alone and feeling awkward.
Perhaps your gift is seeing the human element of ‘networking’ and just being your wonderful self. Thanks for that – it made my solo journey to Third Tuesday much more memorable than it would have been otherwise.
May 31st, 2007 » 1:54 pm
Alex and LeeEllen- thanks for the great tips! I especially like the Exit Strategy. Getting OUT of a conversation can sometimes be harder than getting in!
Kyra- it was a pleasure meeting you!
June 2nd, 2007 » 12:59 pm
Thank you for posting this question on your blog, for it surely not only helped you but a lot of readers out there with similar apprehensions. As a PR student, I love coming across blogs that are filled with useful information that is oftentimes overlooked.I am now going to make a concentrated effort on polishing my networking skills in an array of situations. I think Kyra’s comment highlights the importance as well as the benefits of networking.
June 3rd, 2007 » 9:36 pm
I can definitely relate to your situation Joscelyn. I am a people person but when it comes to networking with professionals I get shy. I believe I get a little intimidated by all the other people and students and sometimes start to feel like I am not qualified or experienced enough to apply for positions whether it is for internships or jobs. Being in the PR field, we MUST get out of this to excel and create relationships. I am glad you showed your concern. I will also be taking the tips Alex Milroy posted and hopefully it will help me emerge from my shell.
April 1st, 2009 » 12:05 pm
[...] that really got me thinking was Alex Milroy’s comment on Jos’s post. She made a couple suggestions, one of which was to approach the person who is [...]