Have you ever had one of those weeks…and it is only Tuesday!?
Posted by Jennifer on August 29th, 2006
Let me tell you it has been “one of those weeks”. I don’t know why I got out of bed yesterday…on my way to work I crashed my bike (the back tire fell of while riding!), wrecked my clothes when I got in the office and it just went down hill from there. The only bright spot so far has been the Hall and Oates concert I saw with my dad last night (we have been going to their concerts together since I was 6 years old!). It seems that everything I touch this week crumbles before my eyes. I know I can do the tasks put in front of me but something mentally blocks me from doing a great job once these days/weeks get started. My mother says it is finally an accumulation of all that has happened this summer and everything that is going to change in a few weeks.
Many things are coming to head this month; my oldest daughter is starting grade one and has been away from home for the first time ever this week. The biggest news is I am working five days a week once I get back from holiday. This is huge for me because I have not worked five days since I left on mat leave when my eldest daughter was born. The guilt I am consumed with is overwhelming. I feel like I have failed my youngest daughter by not staying home with her longer; she is 21 months old and is changing everyday. Seeing her for a few minutes each morning while I am rushing to get dressed and a hour or so when I get home at night while I am preparing dinner and getting her ready for bed is not enough. I feel like I am going to miss some big stuff in both their lives. I worry how my oldest will handle being shuffled from school to a sitter’s house to home. When will she have down time, will we have time to do school work and talk about how things are going with her, etc. How do you cope with the guilt, the sadness, the pressure of family and work, and still manage to keep it all together? I need a miracle cure…the week is getting shorter and I have alot of work to do before Thursday!
Posted to Life outside PR
August 30th, 2006 » 12:41 pm
I feel your pain! My 23-month-old changed daycares at the beginning of the month, and went from 3 days a week to five. I was so looking forward to being able to get my work done after almost two years of struggling to keep up… but instead I have been HORRIFIED by how hard the transition is for her, and by how little time we have with her at home. We’ve been trying to devote full attention to her when she is at home, but as you say, much of the time is spent on dinner, bath, and all the day-to-day necessities. And after almost four weeks she is still stressed– even though she likes the school after the initial crying at dropoff.
To answer your question, there is no miracle cure.
You just do the best you can, try to be super-organized so nothing major falls between the cracks, and don’t let smaller things get in the way of important ones. Yesterday my husband grilled chicken (note: husband participation is key!) while I made potatoes out of a box and vegetables out of the freezer– not exactly the gourmet, organic, fresh meal I would prepare in an ideal world. But it gave me an extra 30 minutes with the little one and we all sat down to eat together, so I count it a small victory. Sure, I should’ve mopped the kitchen floor, or read for class, or worked on a presentation I’ve got coming up, but in the long run playing “give baby doll a bath” was a lot more important.
Good luck to you… just remember pretty much every working mom knows how you feel.
August 30th, 2006 » 7:30 pm
Thank you for your support.It is nice to know I am not alone. Your dinner sounds like the one I prepare at home all the time.
I also worry about the stress that my daughters are internalizing. I think you nailed in on the head when you say I must take time to celebrate “small victories”. Thank you for the advice…I feel a little better now.
August 31st, 2006 » 1:39 pm
Hmmm, biking home you must have been humming Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day”.
August 31st, 2006 » 2:04 pm
While I can’t yet sympathize with your mother guilt (because I don’t have children, not because I don’t care about them), as a daughter, I see it from the other end. I can just about guarantee that your youngest daughter will not be permanently scarred by your absence. Don’t forget she has something her sister didn’t- a big sister to help her out. My mother is ALWAYS feeling guilty about something (and I’m 24 and live on my own) and most of the things that feels bad about, I don’t even remember, or remember them the way she does!
And might I add that it will be nice to have you around all week:)
August 31st, 2006 » 7:13 pm
Hey, Jen – Jos has a great point there. My Mom worked a ton when I was little and my Dad worked shifts. We never suffered and we were all pretty independent (maybe as a result). That said, my Mom never felt guilty. I think that’s a generational change. When we were kids, the kids fit into the parents’life, not the other way around!